Though my career in high school was not the greatest experience due to all of the discrimination to wards my hobbies and interests, my life has completely flipped on his head, allowing me to participate in one of the greatest programs I have ever experienced.

SUNY Canton eSports.

As previously expressed, I have been a video gamer since I was four, growing up with my Super Nintendo and Super Mario World. During high school, I took an obsession with a little game called League of Legends, which currently, is the biggest eSport in the world.

If you are not familiar with eSports, it is video game competition, where players from all over the world compete to be the best, much like regular sports. Currently, at the time of writing this, I have attended two national tournaments in both Albany, as well as Pennsylvania, with a third in Nashville Tennessee on the way. (Though I am not competing in the third tournament, I am tasked with providing commentary.)

This university, as well as this program, has allowed me to find who I truly am, and what I am capable of as a human being, and I have nothing but respect and gratitude for those who work for the university to make it what it is today.

My high school experience, has made me stronger than I ever thought I could have become, and I noting but thankful, to be put through hell, to get to where I am now.

As previously mentioned, I played a lot of soccer within my time at high school, but little did I know, these moments would be the hardest of my teenage years. As my last couple of game were approaching me at an astronomical rate, I felt relieved. I didn’t play because I was good, nor did I play because my high school was known for its soccer team. I played, because I felt like I had to finish what I started four years ago when I joined the team.

But some people wanted me gone sooner than expected.

We had three games left in the regular season, and my team could not have been more pumped to succeed, despite our 2-9 record. People blamed each other individually, but I believe it was poor sportsmanship all around, we just didn’t really click, as you are about to see.

With one of the games underway, we began to play our hearts out. I was starting defense (fullback) due to my terrible ability to handle the ball, and I was starting only because I was a senior. With this in mind, the ball passed me, and our goalie could not stop it.

I was told to kill myself, and to walk off the field.

His words, pierced my heart, not to mention he was my own cousin. As I looked on for any help, my coach only stared. No help was necessary in his eyes, despite him hearing the words that were said. I will never forget this experience.

I enjoyed gym class quite a bit. It really was the only time I felt like I wasn’t in the school. The adrenaline, the sweat, the determination, it was all there for a 40 minuet period, and I loved it.

During my high school career, I was on the soccer team. Though I was not as good as others, I enjoyed pushing myself further to finish every season, like a solider determined to finish what he had started. I would try to practice every chance I get within this class, getting better and better with each gym period. I was feeling unstoppable.

That was, until I was tripped, and slammed my head against the hard gym wall.

Everything was dark, and as soon as the light tried seeping through my eye lids, it became blurry, like an underwater expedition. I could only hear laughter and my substitute teacher yelling over to me to see if I was okay. I realized what had happened to me, and I tried to brush it off.

Hours later, and I would realize I had gotten a concussion. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and months turned into years, and through this time, I had finally realized through a fiend of mine that the trip was no accident, in fact, it was much like a trial of manhood. If you wanted to be respected, you had to severely hurt someone to gain the respect of your peers.

Looking back on this, it’s silly to think about, but to this day, I don’t understand what grudge people had against me..

The year was 2009, and a decade of my existence had almost seen the light of day. I was a very outgoing student at this time, always blabbering on about something I enjoyed, or tried to engage in conversation with other students. To the other boys, I was seen as vulnerable, or gullible, or just not strong enough to be considered a real man in their eyes.
My presence to some of my fellow boys in class, was annoyance. I didn’t hunt, nor fish, nor was an outdoorsy person. In fact, I was an aspiring game developer. Becoming a video game developer in upstate New York, was unheard of, and was not seen as a normal occupation, but it was my passion, and I knew it was what I wanted in life.

This passion, would allow others to see me as an outsider, where I would soon be the subject of ridicule in conversation. It was only 4th grade nonetheless, and I was already being seen as the odd one out. These would be the first days of a long, brutal journey through my school, where it became a prison soon after.

With adulthood still seeming like light years away, I began plugging away at my desired destiny. Though the whispers sometimes got to me, I allowed myself to block them out.

“He is so strange..”

“I bet he has a mental condition..”

“Why doesn’t he become a real man and hunt..”

These words, these people. began to eat away at me. Why are people judging me for my different interests? Why are people always bringing me up in conversation? These questions began to hide my identity as an outgoing, passionate individual at school, and my hatred for the prison I was held captive in only grew stronger.

I was now in seventh grade, which truthfully, was a weird time for everyone. Puberty arose within the lives of many, and the boys in my class discovered the power of alcoholic beverages and cigarettes, which made them seem like these drinks and smokes were the perfect ways to solve problems. I feel sorrow for them now, as consuming these would ruin their lives and reputations.

Once again, I was a prime target. not engaging in these risky activities made me seem vulnerable once again, and though I was never invited to parties or asked to hang out with these substances in place, the looks on peoples faces when I began to walk down the prison halls at school began to change.